As I plugged my USB into my hard drive to upload my images and videos collected on my phone over the past few months, I shuddered.
You see, for many years I trusted Apple.
Actually, I think I trust a lot.
If I order a burger, I trust the cook won’t spit in it.
If I drive on the road, I trust the other drivers want to get to their destinations safely too.
If I buy something off eBay, I trust the item isn’t dodgy.
I think it’s not unreasonable, for someone like me, to trust a business like Apple.
I trust that if they bring out a product, a service or a system for others to use (which we pay for I might add – so it’s a business obligation for them to try and do what they say their products and/or services do) then I think I should be able to trust them.
And haven’t Apple done well, here is what my Google search just now tells me:
Apple made $18 billion dollars profit in the last quarter of 2015. By December 31, 2015, Microsoft reported a net income of $5 billion. Facebook increased its revenue from $3.85 billion in the beginning of 2015 to $5.84 billion by the last quarter, which earned profits of $1 billion for the entire year.
So. This means they make at least 3 times what Facebook makes, and we are talking about Billions here, a year.
And yet, their products and services, systems and support are disgracefully underdelivering.
And do they GIVE A FLYING FUCK?
Probably not.
Well I don’t think so!
Why would they?
Why would they care that I, an owner of 2 iPhones, 3 iPads, one desktop MAC, and god knows what else, decides to stop buying their products and services?
It is blatantly clear to me that Apple ARE concerned about their brand and their image as they conjure up nice minimalist ad campaigns that imply if you buy, use and own Apple goods, you are sooooo cool.
hmmm.
But here’s the thing Apple.
Your day will come. (I mean in a monetry sense!)
Your profits are already beginning to fall as reported by the BBC a few months ago:
The technology giant reported quarterly sales of $50.56bn (£34.39bn) down from $58bn last year – the first fall in sales for the company since 2003.
I pay top dollar for “i” products.
And I accept that is my decision.
What I DON”T ACCEPT is you don’t give a shit about my experience once the sale has taken place.
That is too much to bear.
Here is a video I recorded four years ago, stating my disappointment with how Apple were handling their APP sales.
I (my husband & I) have easily spent over $10,000 in your goods, and god knows how many more $$$ on your APPS.
This is a big investment, yes?
Yes.
So, my point is this.
If I (and when I say “I” = I am speaking for everyone person around the world who has spent $$$ on your products/services) have spent this kind of money, I/we expect your products and services to be tested properly first.
OVER AND OVER AND FUCKING OVER – before you release it into the wild.
So what I am talking about here (you ask)
I’m talking about:
- Not once, not twice, but THREE FRIGGIN TIMES I have used my MAC to upload my photos from my iPhones (years of kids from birth up to age 6) random videos, images and more, mainly for times when we didn’t have a good camera so we chose to use our iPhone camera instead because the photo was so important to us – and we have tried to upload the photos onto our MAC. And guess what – ALL FRIGGIN 3 TIMES – YOUR SYSTEM JUST DELETED THEM!
Yes I’m going to use capitals over and over here, because it drives me fucking insane that I trusted you as a brand, I trusted you as a business (run by humans still I think??) and I trusted that your systems were tested and wouldn’t fuck up. But they do. Over and Over. Every time I call your help centre. And then the real fun starts.
[insert “how not to run a support system” here]…
First of all, it takes days to get someone on the phone who can possibly help = where can these priceless images and videos have gone. The screen clearly asked me did I want to upload the photos to the MAC – YES I Said, apparently it did, then at the end it asks me if I want to upload it onto the cloud backup too – so sure, why not. I say ok. Then it says “all done” – Great, I’m done.
Phew, those priceless videos and images are safely on my MAC and the cloud.
Talk about a great system.
BUT NO.
Not actually.
Despite it uploading to the MAC and the Cloud – guess what?
It’s now on neither.
I must have done something wrong.
So my husband says, “let me do mine”.
So he jumps on.
Guess what – SAME FUCK UP.
I don’t need to write out all the steps one by one do I?
No.
Now I’m exhausted just typing this.
I want to stop here, but there is soooo much more to tell you.
Over and over your systems, your uploads, your updates, your services, your back ups fail us.
OVER AND OVER AND FUCKING OVER.
Why oh why, we ask.
Why do we keep using your products?
Let me tell you why.
Have you heard that saying “in for a penny, in for a pound”?
It means, we are in too deep to turn back now.
Yes, we are lazy, and we don’t want to go reinvest in all that equipment with another brand, unless we have no other choice.
To change over would mean losing all our APPS which our kids love.
It would mean learning another system.
It would render my $2.5K MAC pretty useless.
The iPads, iPhones, all a waste.
But wait, there’s more.
Let’s talk about your ridiculous (obviously untested) updates before I sign off.
Auto update – the screen says I have to update.
But I don’t want to.
Last time I did that it crashed out my iPad and we couldn’t restart it.
It took days to fix it and when we did, guess what, we lost all our data (yes, I’m talking about these priceless images and videos again!!)
So it didn’t work, no biggie you say – these things happen.
I could almost live with that.
But there’s more.
We go into Apple (store) and we explain what happened.
Do know what they say?
They say, give us $20 and we will reboot it for you.
hmmm.
So your shit product fucks up, and you want us to pay your staff to push a couple of buttons to fix it.
Ok, I can see that, you’re a business, a service, you have to make a profit. Ok.
But, let’s look closer at that.
I’ve spent over $10k on your shitty systems, products and services over the years.
And your products and services have failed me (epically) on numerous occasions.
And when it fucks up – and I lose ALL MY FUCKING IMPORTANT DOCS, IMAGES & VIDEOS – you want me to pay an organisation which makes over $50 BILLION a year – another $20 because of that minute exertion by one of your staff)!
Why?
Because I haven’t suffered enough have I.
No.
Now remember above I did mention that Apple was run by humans (at least I think).
So I want Apple to indulge us mere mortals, and think like a human for one moment.
I want them to ask themselves, how would they feel if someone at a store, for a product that you paid nearly $1K for, after installing an update that business said we had to update, which then deleted all our precious videos and images for that period – asks you for $20 to reboot it.
$20
NOT for get the images and videos back.
NOT for our time wasted while our iPad was out of use because of your fucked-up update that you said we HAD to do.
NOT for foolishly trusting your brand.
NOT for the effort, petrol etc to drive to the store and ask for assistance.
No.
Not for any of that.
You wanted $20 (or your staff asked for it) because they said it was a standard charge to help their customers.
ARE YOU COMPLETELY FUCKING MAD!
[breathe]
So, here’s the thing Apple.
Here’s the secret to life Apple.
Here’s the difference between being profitable and being ethically profitable.
Be Human
Try harder.
Think about the customer.
Think about US.
Don’t fuck up our images, then over the phone very casually say “oh I’m sorry to hear that” whilst reading from a script.
Don’t stand over a counter and ask for $20 for something that is epically YOUR FAULT in the first place.
Be Human
It simply doesn’t make sense to be this way to treat your customers like this.
$60 FUCKING BILLION a year and you can’t do better than that?
Well guess what?
If you don’t do better than that, people like me, we will stop buying what you sell.
We will tell our kids that we have some exciting news – we are getting all new apps and games, that’s right, we are going to try out the fun new Google APPS (or whoever is just around the corner with a new product/service that out does yours).
We will try to hock our old “Apple” stuff for a few bucks on eBay.
We will buy Samsung phones.
We will completely dump Apple.
Your APPS, your podcasts, your phones, your TV (Well, we are def NOT buying that one – We can’t miss something we never made the mistake of buying in the first place thank god).
AND when I say “we”, I mean all your customers (or most). Maybe not the ones who line up outside your stores with a new launch. Don’t worry, they will forgive you no matter what.
But the rest of us, the “people” who trusted you to do better, and you didn’t – we will dump you so fast that your revenue will not be a stat you want published.
You see, we can exist without Apple. No more billion dollar profits for you, but also less stress for us.
Now, I’ve already started to adapt, I know I can’t trust you.
I plug in my Apple hardward to my PC (not my MAC).
I manually open the storage area of the content I want backedup, and I dump it straight to my PC.
The MAC doesn’t even get a looking now, it’s just collecting dust.
Just Be Human.
Try Harder.
Think Like A Customer.
That’s all us mere mortals ask.
